Frustration
Getting old sucks. Don't get me wrong. I love having kids and our home and my wife, but the competitive animal in me is dying.
I raced the Clemson DH race this weekend and did not give my all. My head wasn't in it. I wasn't motivated. I was happy enough and having tons of fun on course...but come race time?
I wasn't my usual self...focused, concentrating on lines in my head, telling myself to pedal til I blow. I gave up on my sprint early. I didn't ride aggressive...I rode all "flowy".
Afterward, i got dusted by just about everyone. I tried to make it up in my second run by getting tough and cranking like a madman. It paid off for two turns. Then I smacked a crank on the ground and went off in the bushes on flat ground...game over.
The good thing is..it's motivated me to crank it out from this point forward this season. I am not going to be winning or putting in too many podiums. But people that have no business beating me...will not.
Can't stand not giving my all!
To finish on a positive note..I had a blast riding the course though...so many turns...so many fun little booters. Great, great work.