Tonight while talking to a friend. He said "Well, don't you think you'll get hurt again if you keep racing?"  To this I quickly responded in my typical oh so smart mouthed manner, "don't you think you should put that cigarette out?"  

The fact is, I think about it a lot. I think about it alot more than my friend does! Here's my conclussion. While I could not ride, I was miserable. and the more time that passed in which I could not ride, I became more miserable. I had an accident, and the worst part was waking up not knowing where I was, or what had happened to me. I woke up and I looked like someone else, but worse, I felt like someone else. Someone I had never met, someone who was sad, empty, and alone. Someone who did not laugh, or feel hope. I woke up and I was someone I always  tried to avoid becoming.  My life had shattered into a million different pieces.

When you have a passion for something that runs so deep that it drives you, you are complete. When that passion is stolen, ripped out of your arms unsuspectingly, you become the black side of white. Two weeks ago, all of this changed for me.

I raced. I rode without hesitation. I rode hard. I was safe yet honestly, I pushed, I took chances. A lot of them. And somewhere out there, amidst the trees, and the brush, the dust, ,the rocks, the mud, the sweat, all of the pieces of my life, began to weld themselves back together, forming that bond, that passion that I had longed for.  That passion that kept me sane.

Tonight, sitting here in front of the glowing LCD in the comfort of my bedroom, I am reminded of how difficult the times have been.  I come to this place (spoonsorhouse) to make new friends with common interests, as well as to gain sponsors. I never in my life thought that I would gain so much incredible insight, and wisdom  as  I have from this place. 

I have met many people who have shared their stories of their very severe accidents, and all of them have reached me. A few helped me find my passion. My friend Paka, you are amazing, thank you.  Dave, your words of kindness and your willingness to get back on the horse, you are an inspiration.  Martin, your sense of humor amuses me. There are more, many more who have made the difference. I only hope someday someone can help you when you need it, the way you all helped me when I needed it. Thank you for helping me to put the pieces back together.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get back to the creepy AOL chat room guy who is still persistently asking me what I am wearing :)  Sorry, I was serious for like ten minutes, you all knew it wouldnt last!!!!

Would it be an abomination to wear my awesome tongue twister K SWISS (PINK OF COURSE!-DUH!) to a NIKE MARATHON???????

Yeah, I thought so too. Ok here's the deal, I am running it this year in San Francisco! On October 21st 2007, I, yes little old me, will run a full marathon for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. For more information on this event and the others that are scheduled, check out www.lls.org. I will update this at a later date when I have my site web site ready.

I encourage all of you out there to get involved! You may not know anyone who has suffered from cancer. But eventually, and unfortunately, you will. Pull together, you can walk, run, bike or triathalon, go check out what they are doing and how you can Join! COME AND RUN WITH ME!  www.lls.org

www.teamintraining.org/sfm

What can I say, It is Friday the 13th, and yesterday I had the best ride yet! I am ready to race! It felt great to take on some of the tough terrain "Rockegie" ( I know it's carnegie, but if youve been there you get it !) has to offer, a few of those black diamonds should have signs on them that say  "Not recommended for people with Medical Conditions, Heart Conditions, or for people with cases of SissyLalaitis." And some of them are over rated, and prove to be, well maybe not simple, but not as difficult as some of the trails marked with a blue square.  Either way, it gave me a great ride without a crash, without a flaw, and with plenty of those moments that left us saying "Did you see that!?!"

I have met a lot of new people out there in sponsorhouse land, and I am meeting more people along the trails as well. Everyone seems to have something valuable to offer.  I have come across some people who are genuinely wonderful, kind and helpful people. And I have come across the kind that you expect to find in a creepy AOL chat room coining that old familiar phrase of "what are you wearing".

So to all of you, friend or creepy aol chat guy, a weekend of good weather, and the peace that I was fortunate enough to have found on the trail on just another weekday at Carnegie.

 Yesterday (4-5-07) was a beautiful day! The weather was great, and my bike was running perfect. No complaints. I took it out into some trails into carnegie (svra park) and was so impressed with that little bike.  It was a great ride..... I spent four hours out there taking trails, turns, hills, ROCKS!, and came out of it feeling great.  It's all the same places I have been before, only yesterday, it all seemed different. everything fell into place. On 4-14 I hae a race at Shasta, and I am ready!  Health is good, my shoulder is no longer a bother, I am ready.