Wow. It`s a little early to drop names yet, but I have a commitment from one of the biggest names in BMX, a man responsible for training some of our sports most successful riders, to take me under his wing and help train me for the 2007 season. It is my commitment to everyone that believes in me that inspired me to pursue his help, and I know that between his 3 decades of experience and insight and my undying fire to move forward in BMX, I CANNOT fail.



 I feel very fortunate to have the opportunity in front of me. I have come a long way on my own since my return to bmx, and though I`m happy with my progress, I`m not satisfied. Chasing a NAG plate next year is the least I can do to show my apreciation, and I WILL NOT stop untill I`ve gone well beyond what I know to be possible today.



  It`s also a sign of my commitment to my sponsors, current and future. I know I`m not going to reach my goals in this sport without the support of people and companies that believe in me, and this is simply a step to insure they are right to have such faith.



And for all of this, my goal remains noble. I just want to show my kids (and anyone else, for that matter) that with enough determination and hard work ANYTHING is possible. And that we should NEVER give up on our dreams because it`s never too late to pick up where we left off.

Every day we are all given the chance to learn something new, and I learned something at this years` Grands.





WEAR A HELMET THAT FITS!



My new helmet is too big for me. It`s not on purpose, it`s what I could afford. I usually wear a knit beanie cap under it to keep it snug, but somewhere between our pit and staging, I lost my beanie. I pull up to the gate with my helmet wiggling around like crazy, but I wasn`t letting it sink my ship before I even set sail, so to speak. I had a good lane choice and was feeling pretty good anyway. I had sized up the other riders and honestly, I was expecting to walk away with a qualifier. And if the finish line was at the first jump, I would have. I took the holeshot and figured I`d just hold my line and keep any monkey business to a minimum. Well, I barely bonked the doubles going into turn one and disaster struck. My helmet dropped down over my eyes and I couldn`t see ahead of me. I glanced to the side to see where the next rider was and my helmet stayed facing straight! I`m now looking into the side of my helmet! Dang!! Passed by someone! The second straight went "flip up helmet, get a couple of cranks, repeat". Darn it! Passed again! I`m in third, and they`re only taking two. OK, I can pull some space in the LOOOOONG rhythm section. Wrong again. I couldn`t see far enough ahead to get a really good groove going. I even tried to hold my helmet up with one hand for a moment, but one handed through the whoops was a little unsettling.



So, it looks like I`m going to be on 661`s doorstep for a new helmet. I use everything else they make, just haven`t gotten a helmet from them yet. It`s going to be the right size, and next season......



Redemption.



(all in all I wasn`t too upset about it. I was pretty hacked for about sixty seconds, then I realized it was time to put my inner child away and deal with it in a mature manner.......LOL)

Holy cow, folks. Tonight is the last practice, the last chance to ride before the grands. I`ve had a few things to overcome in the months prior to now, but I`ve hung in there and put in what I had. I`ve trained intelligently and kept track of my goals. I`ve come a LONG way since January, and have earned a great deal of respect from my peers. To be back to the sport after such a long hiatus and be competitive with people that have been doing it for several years steady has given me a ton of confidence that I can do well next weekend. Alll I have to give is my best, but how can I say I know what my best is? I`ll be reaching into places I`ve never been for motivation, hoping to get that unmediated flow of intuition and instinct that seperates winners from....well, the rest. There are a few local guys that could be strong competition, as well as people I`ve never had to race before. I can`t think about them. I have to think about giving my own perfect lap. If God has it in the plan for me to win, He`ll show me how. If not, i`ll politely thank Him and hire a new trainer for next year :-).

As you can read in my previous blog entry, I lost my mother just over a week ago. She`s been sick for months and I`ve had a hard time really finding the motivation to win. I`d go out and race, usually getting out front and pulling everyone to the first turn, then I`d just lose the will to fight for it and take whatever I could get.

Now that she`s passed I`m not WORRIED about her every day. It sucks that she`s gone, and I miss her so much, but I know she`s in a better place and I can start picking up the pieces again. I know she wouldn`t want me sitting at home pouting over things I can`t control, so I went and raced last night...and it felt GOOD! I didn`t win, but I didn`t coast, either. I made a couple of good moves and was actually pulling hard in the last straight (to the point where a friend of mine complimented me on it, and he`s a likely contender for a 19-27 NAG plate. Apparently it`s impressive to see a 210 pound non-pro rider tackle rhythm with that much grace!) Also had one of my peers and competitors go out of his way to compliment me on my gates. That felt really good as he himself has a great gate.



So, knowing that my mom didn`t raise me to do anything half assed, I`m back in the game. I`m focused again and ready for the Grands. Thanks to 661 for making the gear that protects my butt when I push myself harder than I should . Hopefully AtomLabs will see my potential and find me worthy of sporting their products as well. I`m going to need new wheels soon as my White Industries hub is getting old, and let`s face it...I squat over 500 pounds and I`m hard on rear hubs. The AtomLabs can take everything I`ll throw at them and kep ticking, and that`s a product i`m happy to support. (crossing my fingers!)



Well, thanks for reading! See you all at the grands!

Thursday, November 2nd, at 11:10 am, my mother passed away. She`d been afflicted with cancer and the illnesses related to it, and it finally just overcame her. No matter what age you are, or how prepared you think you are it`s never easy, and you` re NEVER really ready. Obvously I`ll be a little down for a couple of weeks(or however long it takes), but my mom never raised me to do anything half assed. So once I`m ready again, I`ll be out racing harder than ever. I raced last night and I did OK. Even with a (for me, anyway) mediocre gate I came out first and held the lead untill I shut down in turn one. It was enough to just be out there, I didn`t have the desire to fight to hold on to the lead. The grands are coming soon, and I`ll be racing for her. She taught me to give my all in everything I do, so once the shock is over...look out 28-35 class! I WILL take a NAG plate next year :-).



I love you mom, and I miss you so much already.