You know, recovering from a life-threatening condition is a two sided process. On one hand, the fact that I beat it makes me feel invincible. It makes me feel strong and proud of myself for keeping my head together and not wilting under the stress.



On the other hand, there are parts of the process that I am so frustrated about, like getting my heart and lungs back to 100%. I`ve been in the gym, training smarter than I probably ever have, and i`m getting stronger and faster by the day. The problem arises when I get a great snap and pull the lead for half the track, then my lungs just shut down and I simply cannot push any further. I absolutely DO NOT give up, there are just times when I`m giving everything I have just to keep rolling. It`s hard, and I`m sure my friends and fans get disappointed. Let me make it very clear to all of you: I DO NOT GIVE UP. If I look like I`m not giving 100 percent, it`s because I simply don`t have it. Know that no matter what, I am giving 100% of what I DO have!



The balance is slowly shifting and I`m having more good days than bad ones, so that`s a good sign. My gates have gotten to the point where I`m actually happy with them, and I have been busting my butt in the rhythm section for two weeks straight. There is a chance I`ll be ready in time for the grands, and if I feel like I can give 100% to the race I will register and see what I can do.



Right now, locals are an accomplishment enough. Just being able to make it to the finish line is something I couldn`t do 4 months ago. By he time next season starts I should be well enough to be a threat to my class, and will set out on a NAG plate chase. A major accomplishment will be to find myself back among my peers, chasing the coveted gray plate after suffering a condition that could have not only ended my racing career, but my "living above the dirt" career as well!